Thoughts and Questions.

I sometimes think I’m an anomaly.  As a woman I feel like I am supposed to enjoy long erotica.  Deeply descriptive and detailed stories.  The kind where every kiss is lingered upon, every emotion felt, each touch described.  On occasion I do enjoy the stories, but a lot of the time I am just looking for a fix.

I skip through the story, I rush to the steam, I skip over everything and read the climax over and over fingers working with the words in my mind.  I like it fast and dirty.  I look for the stories that are so far beyond my experience.  I look for situations that I can’t even fathom in my real life.

That’s not necessarily what I like in real life, it’s not always what I write.  I laugh at my impatience often.  I wonder if other woman are the same way, rushing to the point of impact.

Similarly I wonder if others find themselves thinking things while fucking that may not appeal in real life.  The foulest of language, being called the filthiest of words, imagining whispers that aren’t there, unable to say them out-loud.  Thinking why?  Would I really want to be told these things, to be called these names, but getting wetter each time they are muttered in your imagination.

There are things that I think that I couldn’t utter, that I haven’t really written.  I’ve gotten close, but not crossed that line.  Simon is an amazing man, and would indulge any whim of mine, but often the whim is in the thought alone…

I can’t always understand why I don’t share.

Then there are the times when no thought of kink passes through my head.  When a simple fuck then sleep is enough, more than enough, and I wonder how is it I am the same person as I was when I was thinking such filth.

Just thoughts, emptying my head, before I look for my inspiration tonight…

3 Responses to “Thoughts and Questions.”

  1. variety is the spice of life. Sometimes I write long detailed erotica and sometimes it’s short streamy snippets. Sometimes when reading erotica, I do skip to the “good parts” I tend to do that if the person is a horrible writer. lol. At home, sometimes I love the sensual and loving moments and sometimes i just want to be used and called his whore. Nothing wrong with variety.

  2. I perfectly identify to what you say. Extremes do arouse me, but I would’nt want to actually live these… and that’s why I don’t like to share those thoughts with my husband, he would surely see a deep hidden desire and feel the need to fulfill it… or be repulse by the whole thing.

    As for skipping to the ‘goodparts’ while reading, I’m also like that 🙂 Depends on how I feel : sometimes I’m just plain horny and need a quick fix, other times I feel like lingering and enjoying the simple erotic sensation of being horny…

  3. I have to say that I rarely keep this things for me, while fucking. I prefer to share and see what happens. Check it empirically if I really like, instead of wondering. Many times happens that I do enjoy it, although some time after sex, I think “how the hell could I say that?”.
    And I many times wonder how come I am the same person, when I am standing in front of a mirror, being fucked from behind and asking to be treated like a whore and 30 minutes later being eating lunch with His mother, smiling and behaving almost like a kid. But I like to think about myself as so “multidimensional” 😉

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